The Life and Times of an Old Penny

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A PENNY

IN 1940
I STARTED MY LIFE
A LONDON DOCKER
BOUGHT FLOWERS FOR HIS WIFE
THEY LIVED IN PLAISTOW
JEFFERSON ROAD
NUMBER 60
THEIR HUMBLE ABODE

I AM A PENNY X 4

I WENT TO LEYSDOWN
TARNISHED BUT CLEAN
I SPENT SIX MONTHS THERE
IN SLOT MACHINES
ACROSS TO MAIDSTONE
IN A WIDOWER’S PURSE
HE SPENT ME WISELY
ON A BOOK OF SAD VERSE

I AM A PENNY X 4

I PAID FOR TOFFEE-APPLES AND CUBAN CIGARS
THE BEANO AND THE DANDY AND MILK CHOCOLATE BARS
PAINTED LEAD SOLDIERS AND LACES FOR SHOES
MY LITTLE BABY COUSIN ENDED UP IN TOULOUSE

THE 1950′S
THEY WERE A BORE
8 YEARS IN BOURNEMOUTH
IN THE BACK OF A DRAWER
I MIXED WITH MOTH-BALLS
CANDLES AND SNUFF
GREASEPROOF PAPER
BUT MOSTLY JUST FLUFF

I AM A PENNY X 4

FORGET THE 50′S
THE DECADE WAS DRAB
BRING ON THE 60′S
GROOVY AND FAB
I WENT TO NIGHTCLUBS
IT WAS INSANE
MEMORIES ROLLING
DOWN PENNY LANE

A LITTLE KID’S COLLECTION IN ”79
THEY COVERED ME IN BRASSO TO GIVE ME A SHINE
WITH THE COINS FROM THE MERSEY AND THE THAMES AND THE TYNE
CHEERS TO ELVIS COSTELLO FOR THE USE OF THAT RHYME

I AM A PENNY X 4

Jeremy Rowling and Andy Export of Unlucky Fried Kitten were chatting about the way things move along in life…well…they were talking about the life of Unlucky Fried Kitten at first…how it had changed and evolved since 1995 when it first leapt out of a box….a metaphorical box, that is. Well…all things change, don’t they? It lead on to them thinking about how certain twists of fate move certain things to certain parts of the world. So…Andy very quickly penned this ditty…as an example. Unlucky Fried Kitten…The Life and Times of an Old Penny.
So....how did Andy know where this penny had been since 1940? Easy. He enlisted the help of New Wave Psychic, Mildred Littlefair. This is a great time to introduce the sterling work of Mildred..who has become almost an ancilliary member of UFK....assisting in various songs and experiments from within the UFK Dollshouse. Mildred, a gypsy dancer in a previous life*, has proved to be a valuable help in such projects as "The Unlucky Fried Kitten Copy and Paste Conspiracy Theory", the "Pub-Table Through The Ages" saga, the "Isle of Sheppey Refurbishment Disaster" and other works. She's a strange girl (since someone told her she had a nice profile she always tries to walk sideways) but she has been a wonderful help to the cause of UFK.
For this song she retraced the steps of the 1940 penny...for a payment of a box of fading photographs of sheds of Old England. It was a difficult task for Mildred...she lost a lot of weight and had to sleep on a bed of pre-decimalisation goatskin eiderdowns...to get the connection.
*it was discovered, through regression, that Mildred was once a gypsy dancer girl called Marnie Allbright...from the pre-Victorian Woodlands of Sittingbourne.